It started when I was small, really small. Before I could speak and before I could move about freely on my own. I was perhaps less than a year old. They were really nice. The big one was like a grandma. That’s how she described herself when I eventually asked who they were; who she was to me.*
I began experiencing these night time parties before I had learnt that these kind of experiences were thought to be make believe, so it all seemed to make sense at the time. I asked a lot of questions and their answers were always perfect for the mind of a small boy with limited reference in the real world. I’m sure I grew from these sessions. I wanted to know things like what stars are for and why can’t we fly.
The little one was really nervous when we were first introduced and for a long while too. It moved very fast which I always found exhilarating to watch. I later discovered part of the exhilaration I felt was associated with the way it manipulated space time to move around in our physical space. It created a weird energy almost as if it’s thoughts and feelings spun around the room when it moved.
The little one was twinned with me somehow. It was like my space buddy. I knew we were both children and we were to learn from each other as we grew. They somehow got our essence to share and it was the cutest little thing a boy could imagine. It was very scared of me which I found frustrating. If I ever reached out to it, it would visibly shake and sometimes almost disappear becoming translucent. We eventually learnt to trust each other through games & touch. We played a kind of hide and seek. I would get excited and laugh, it would cower and hide. When I learnt how sensitive it was, I developed a way of restraining my thoughts so as not to upset it. It was scared by my physicality. It was perhaps one of the most important things I learnt not to do.
I suppose it was like putting a kitten in with a bear cub. I had no intention to hurt it but a clumsy manchild with exuberance was big stuff to a small being of light. I suppose it was like a little sponge. It felt everything all at once. It never spoke to me but communicated with powerful feelings of fear, love, happiness, worry, all distinguishable from my own feelings (externalised in the room). I learned to communicate in this way, by thinking of experience and releasing feelings as energy.
Froglet (so called because of it’s resemblance to a young amphibious creature with beautiful glassy wraparound eyes) and I became good friends. Eventually some 3o years later, we met face to face, in an out of body experience and then through lucid dreams.
I grew up with a love of baby animals and became fascinated from aged 3 or four with the study of all things possessing big shiny black eyes. Beetles, bees and ants seemed familiar and I guessed that (they) might have come from an evolutionary line of colony insects.
I later came to know that insects were the real success stories of evolution and had lasted for millions of years on earth so it didn’t seem that odd to imagine big space insects had evolved to way beyond our mammalian forms.
They seemed so very magical and when i started school, I heard a description of angels..i thought the teachers were wrong; that i had actually met them and “they don’t look like humans with wings at all, instead they looked like insects”..the descriptions I had heard of angels seemed to fit their behaviour and relationship to us. They seemed very spiritual, loving and not quite real.
When I eventually met froglet much later as an adult, I studied (him) very carefully and he had muscles and bones just like us, very elegant and slender, two eyes, a small smiling mouth and tiny nub of a nose. he was white like chalk and seemed to glow with an irridescence, similar to the chromatophores of squid and cuttlefish.. i eventually made a portrait of him in chalk after many unsuccessful drawings in pencil..
As a child, I longed to look through microscopes into tiny unseen worlds and through binoculars, which has become part of my creative artwork as an adult…and deep into the night sky where I now knew millions of suns were home to countless civilisations.
I grew to miss (them) my friends when they weren’t there. It was episodic. Periods of contact with long periods of searching for clues to their whereabouts and origins in history books and exhibitions of primitive cultures, in legends and myths, science fiction films & stories of old.
I would eventually become something of an expert about UFO’s and their history on earth through my own research. I read all the seminal texts on the subject by all the leading investigators and by cross examination of thousands of stories and repeating articles, found not only that I was not alone in my experiences but which parts of the myriad stories got repeated enough by different people to bear a resemblance what might be true. What was secretly happening on planet earth, hidden from a huge majority of an unsuspecting public who slowly were being acclimatised through sci-fi, while all of this happened in everyday lives.
They seemed to visit in the summer months when the days were long and the air was warm. I came to associate thunder storms with their arrival and would sit in the lilac tree facing the park, watching the sheets of lightning light up the sky, waiting for their arrival with their glowing lights.
*I asked her who she was to me and she said “like a Grandmother loves her children’s children, even though they’re not her own, it’s kind of like that”. Her telepathic voice was very human, perhaps that’s the wrong word, but funny, patient, full of compassion and empathy a really cool person. She never got angry or frustrated but would often laugh at my innocent questions. We would share humour with learning and her way of explaining complicated things was often accompanied by what appeared to be a projection on my bedroom wall. t.b.c